I get a lot of hits on my blog from across the realm of the Internet, many of which are from links on Facebook, Twitter, or RSS readers. To you guys who follow me: thank you! You give me many happies. However, I also get a huge number of new visitors daily to my blog from people who search around the Internet for various search terms. As part of a monthly project, here are some short replies to some of the search terms people have used to arrive here at the Digital Ambler. This focuses on some search terms that caught my eye during the month of October 2013.
“satanic pagan ritual altars instruction offerings halloween” — I’m kinda insulted by this query for a number of reasons, not least that it somehow directed someone to my blog. I’m guessing that the person who searched for this was around 12 years old, to boot. Just…ugh.
“satanic ritual to summon ghosts” — Again with the “satanism”. Lots of requests for this thing, or alternatives with “black magic rituals” or “for beginners”. Seriously, guys? I know that people growing up in a primarily anglophone evangelist protestant Christian culture have a hard time with this, but not everything that isn’t explicitly Christian is automatically Satanic, or “black magic”, or whatnot. But if you want to go ahead with this, it’s really simple to summon a spirit like a ghost. Light a candle and some good, heavy incense, make an oration to the spirit calling them there, and make an offering of wine or food or rum or pennies or candies or something. Wait for the spirit to arrive, then chat with it. Afterwards, dismiss it and leave the offerings. (Yes, I know I’m omitting the protection and energy work and meditation and prayers, but whatever, most people aren’t that serious and probably need a good slap in the face to realize the importance of these things.)
“dismissing spirits after ritual” — Generally a good idea, though it pays to be respectful. First, always thank the spirit: “I thank you for your presence, for you have come as I have called and aided me as I have asked”. If it’s something like an angel or some other servant spirit, you might want to say something like “as you have come in peace, so now go in power; as you have come in the name of the Trinity, so now go in this same name”. Demons should be treated similarly, especially the powerful ones, but you should always cover your ass and include some sort of binding for mutual peace and not leaving harm or malice behind them. For ancestors, land spirits, and the like, which deserve respect as individual entities that do not serve, say something like “go if you will, stay if you will, but know that you have my honor”; ditto for gods and deities, though these should be given proper honor generally.
“wasn’t the sanctuary a bloody mess from all of the animal sacrifices” — Perhaps surprisingly, no. Places of holiness, especially well-known and well-attended places like the Temple of the Jews, tend to have elaborate rituals and logistical setups to perform sacrifices, which often include cleaning up pretty well. In Santeria, for instance, the orisha rooms and throne areas must be exquisitely and perfectly clean and hygienic, and given that animal sacrifice is pretty messy, it would seem like the two don’t mix. That said, they’ll have a whole team of people cleaning things up as they go, carrying out the waste or corpse, and keep things under control. Other traditions, like Palo Mayombe, may not have an emphasis on cleanliness, so sometimes sanctuaries can indeed be messy. It depends on the tradition, I suppose.
“the angels that govern mars” — The Hebrew name I use is Kammael (kaph mem aleph lamed), which has also been Latinized as Camael and Samael. This can lead to multiple ways to write the name in Hebrew, however, so it can get pretty confusing; I generally treat all these as the same entity. From the Heptameron of Pietro d’Abano, Mars has the following spirits: the angels Samael, Satael, and Amabiel; the angelic king Samax, and the angelic ministers Carmax, Ismoli, and Paffran; the eastern angels Friagne, Guael, Damael, Calzas, and Arragon; the western angels Lama, Astagna, Lobquin, Soncas, Jazel, Isiael, and Irel; the nothern angels Rahumel, Hyniel, Rayel, Seraphiel, Mathiel, and Fraciel; and the southern angels Sacriel, Janiel, Galdel, Osael, Vianuel, and Zaliel. The Liber Runarum has Mamarayl as the angel, and the Picatrix has Raucahehil or Rubijai’il.
“archangel michael consecrated swords to sell” — My ritual sword, inscribed and consecrated according to the Key of Solomon with a few extra bits, was entirely a personal project. However, I can probably make them as well for you; your choice of sword, all you need to do is give me the money to buy one you like plus $150 plus shipping and handling, and the whole thing will be consecrated to your liking.
“what are the ingredients in florida water” — Contrary to its name, water doesn’t actually take a part in this, though you can throw it in. Generally, Florida water has citrus elements in it like lemon and bergamot, along with spices like clove. It’s pretty simple, and you can expand on it in many ways. Rosemary-based versions are intensely aromatic and amazing, in my experience.
“kybalion changed my life” — That makes one of us, at least. It’s a pretty basic book, if you ask me.
“rituals where you defecate on an altar” — No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no. This really should not be a thing. I know of only one ritual where feces are needed, and that’s the consecration for the Mirror of the Seven Winds from the Picatrix, where they’re used as an ingredient in incense. Directly shitting on an altar? Unless you mean the throne of the porcelain god, this is terrible. Don’t do this.
“how do i get oil blessed to cleanse my home” — Generally, go to your local priest and have them bless some olive oil for you, or ask if they have any chrism on hand. Go throughout the house, preferably with the priest doing this, and pray in each room. Anoint every door, threshold, window, and windowframe with the oil; once in the middle in a cross shape would work, or you might do a five-spot pattern (one in each corner and one in the middle). You might also combine this with suffumigation with incense, lighting consecrated or purified candles in each room, and the like.
“using dice for yes/no” — You might do this in any number of ways, from rolling a die and inspecting the number or using several different colored dice and using the color itself. For instance, you might decide that high numbers are “yes” and low numbers are “no”, or odd and even numbers for the same purpose. You could expand this and add more categories, based on ranges of numbers. I know that Balthazar Blacke uses a simple system involving a white die and a black die to get detailed answers, so you might consider that. I use two ten-sided dice, one marked from 0 to 9 and the other from 00 to 90; for me, high numbers are “yes” and low numbers are “no”, and how high or low a number is increases the forcefulness of the answer.
“cloacina goddess symbol necklace” — Er…Cloacina was an aspect of the Roman goddess Venus, and Venus Cloacina was basically the goddess of the sewers of Rome and other cities. This comes from the Roman word cloaca, meaning sewer, but is used biologically to indicate the excretory/genital area of birds, lizards, and similar animals. Basically, it’s a shit-vagina. And I’m unsure why one might have a symbol for that or want it on a pendant, but I’m sure you can find plenty of vagina pendants on Etsy, because it’s Etsy, and Etsy is horrifying.
“{searchterm}” — Yes, I do believe that that’s the point.
